The Zone

We all have a zone, zone that keeps us serene. Everybody have a different zone. Some read, some travel, some meditate, some just sleep and dream, some do drugs while some go way beyond what we would ever imagine to do. I too have a zone, zone that keeps me calm, composed, that takes away the worrying thought off my mind. My zone is MUSIC. Music means different things to different people. For some, it is a unification of lyrics and sound, some listen just for the lyrics, some listen just to feel the words, some just to show off. While mine is a different story, I listen music for the depth of the sound-waves striking my eardrums creating a different world for me to roam around with the clouds of my imagination. The world created is a beautiful imagination of the mind what I want to think about with music as a catalyst. It doesn't take me away from reality, it just makes me think about reality in a different way, gorgeous way. Like our eyes perceive a physical beauty, ears are made to perceive the beauty of sound. Some people get high off the physical contents of the world, I get a different kind of high from the music and addiction isn't a bad thing if it doesn't harm you. Yes I'm a music addict, doesn't harm anybody, not even me. Addiction is good. Music is good.

Now talking about music, I personally like post-rock music without lyrics, it's deep, and it’s more meaningful without the words than it could be with them. The sound, the bass, the guitar, the work done on drums. Amazing how the music can make you emotional without uttering words that we usually use to communicate. Music is universal, without words. Musicians are underrated geniuses, it’s amazing how they can reach to your soul with their works, and they create something so meaningful that you can dive into it so deep that you look at things differently. Sometimes the music brings tears to my eyes let alone the goose bumps, with its beauty. The way it carves a picture into your mind for you to imagine whatever you want to imagine. That carving lasts like the carving in the caves people find, with meaning.

Her Story

She is surrounded by loved ones but is still alone,

It seems to her that no one is in her home,

She talks to herself, writes letters to nobody,

Still posts them to an address unknown,

In a blind hope that isn't a hope anymore,

She doesn’t smile, not even for a little while,

Numbness is ever growing,

She never even cries, her husband is out of tries,

She just wants her time with herself,

She isn’t a little girl anymore but she plays with a doll,

Marrying her to a prince of a faraway land,

Dressing her as she did when it was her age to play,

She's losing her sanity day by day,

Her world is changing into something even she isn’t aware of,

She's losing hold of reality, losing her sanity,

People ask what happened to her, family just keeps mum,

Something happened to her the other night,

She is in the hospital, psych ward,

She isn't that her anymore, she isn't anyone anymore,

She just cries out one name "Cynthia Cynthia",

Nobody in her family knows who Cynthia is,

But her husband is standing behind a wall crying,

In fact he's hiding behind the wall, trying to hide his tears,

But he knows who Cynthia is,

Her condition is deteriorating, she's tied to the bed,

Tied so that she can’t hurt herself,

Tied so she can’t hurt anybody,

She avoids to eat, haven't eaten for days,

Doctor has lost hope, family has given up,

After 10 days of bringing her to hospital, she breathed her last breath,

Family is crying, nurses have tears in their eyes,

Nobody knows the reason but her family,

Her husband blames himself, why he didn't stood up for her,

"Now no use of regret", voice in his mind whispers, "You aren’t a man after all."

This is what happens when you take away the loved one who isn’t even born yet.

Cynthia was the name she gave to her unborn daughter

The Separation

Scene 1

She kept on saying that she didn't love me,

But her wide eyes told she was lying,

She was afraid of something from which I should also be,

Which I always kept on denying,

Her fear was true that's why she was running away,

I understood she was wiser than I always thought,

She told me being far was the only way,

I was afraid to be alone as she was the only one I got,

I know the fear of being away was inside her,

But she knew how not to show,

There was no way to be together,

It was the fact that I should already know.

Scene 2

It’s been three years since we last saw each other,

Her memories still haunt me whenever I'm alone,

Those moments swallow me that we spent together,

The feel of her hand shivers hand of my own,

I wonder if there was really something that touched me,

Then I realize that I was still in my memories with her,

The feel I got was literally of nothing,

But that nothing is the only thing that relates me with her.

Scene 3

I was going back home from my workplace,

It’s been nine years since I last saw her,

Her memories were still there but in small trace,

In my mind her beautiful face was still there,

I saw a beautiful woman may be of twenty nine,

Going with a little cute baby with her,

Seemed just like the girl who was once mine,

This again reminded the time we were together,

I called the name of the girl with whom I was once together, 

That woman turned around and I thought that she was her,

That woman came up to me asking who I was and how I knew the name of her twin sister,

I remember that she had an identical twin,

That woman was that twin she had,

I asked where her sister was living,

I wanted to meet her so bad,

I was shocked by what she told me,

Truth was she died after a long illness she had..

An Eternal Affair

She was crying for a reason,

I broke wedding promise,

Broke her trust felt like a politician but had shame,

She might never forgive me for what happened,

or maybe she will I’ll never know,

I always wanted her happiness,

but became a reason for her sorrow,

She was always true to me,

I felt like I cheated her but I couldn't help it,

I know she still cries about me leaving,

I just wish her to understand,

We swore to be together,

But i was partly the reason we fell apart,

I used to tell her nobody can take me away from her,

But how can i make her understand it wasn't my fault,

It all happened with a blink of an eye,

I was her's a moment ago,

But now I belong to somebody else,

Somebody who won’t ever let me go,

Somebody who will stick by me forever,

Somebody so true as truth itself,

She blamed ‘that’ somebody to be the cause of her pain,

But I disagree, its the time who made it happen,

I wish everything to be fine,

I sometimes wish to go back in time,

Time when I was in her arms,

Time I could hear her breathing

Time I could watch her sleep,

Time where time used to stop itself to make us feel closer,

Time when my soul had a body,

Time I had my health by my side,

Its not a physical being who tore me apart from her,

It was death itself who stole me away,

It was the death cloaked as illness for so long.

The Wait

Its just another night, just another checkpoint to breathe,

No aim to follow, no path to ride upon,

Its lonely as it get, silence is my only friend,

Noise also pay visit sometimes, but just noise,

Not the voices to hear or understand,

Noise of cells banging, screams begging for mercy,

Everyday I hear footsteps, expecting them to be the last,

I used to think death was hardest,

Now I know anticipation of death is even harder,

These walls seem to get narrower each day,

Seems each day air becomes less to breathe,

No idea about what day is it, does it even matter?

I guess not, still holding onto something helps,

All I think about is how it will end,

Does it hurt too much or death shows a little compassion,

Will it be like a sweet release of breath,

Or will I keep life clinched while death pulls me towards itself,

I am a sinner and never prayed in my entire life,

But here I am on my knees praying for the former to be true.

Lethal injection will end me